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  • Writer's pictureJames Cook

How to write a perfect eulogy

Updated: Jul 2, 2023


Writing a eulogy is a deeply personal and emotional task, as it involves honouring and remembering someone who has passed away. While there is no single formula for a perfect eulogy, the following guide can help you structure your thoughts and express your feelings in a meaningful way:


Reflect on the person's life: Begin by reflecting on the life of the person you are eulogizing. Consider their achievements, passions, personality traits, and the impact they had on others. Recall fond memories and think about the qualities that made them special.


Gather information: Talk to family members, friends, and loved ones who knew the person well. Ask them for stories, anecdotes, and insights that can provide a comprehensive picture of who the person was. This will help you include different perspectives and capture the essence of their life.


Outline the eulogy


Create an outline to organize your thoughts. Consider the following structure:

a. Introduction: Begin with a brief introduction that sets the tone and establishes your relationship with the deceased. You can share how you knew them and the impact they had on your life.

b. Personal anecdotes and stories: Share personal anecdotes and stories that highlight the person's character, achievements, and the moments that defined their life. Choose stories that reflect their values, passions, and unique qualities. These anecdotes can be humorous, touching, or inspirational, providing a deeper understanding of who they were.

c. Key attributes and accomplishments: Discuss the person's key attributes, talents, and accomplishments. Talk about their passions, hobbies, and any notable achievements in their personal or professional life. Emphasize their positive contributions to the world and the legacy they leave behind.

d. Lessons learned: Reflect on the lessons you learned from the person and the impact they had on your life. Share how their presence influenced you and the values they instilled in others. Discuss the ways in which they inspired and motivated those around them.

e. Final thoughts and farewell: Conclude the eulogy by expressing your final thoughts, gratitude, and saying goodbye. Offer comfort and support to the grieving family and friends. Consider sharing a favorite quote, poem, or song lyric that resonates with the person's life or beliefs.


Maintain a respectful tone


While it's important to include personal stories and anecdotes, ensure that your eulogy maintains a respectful tone. Be mindful of the sensitivities of the grieving family and avoid anything that might be offensive or inappropriate.


Practice and revise


Practice reading your eulogy aloud to ensure its flow and timing. Revise and refine your words, making sure they convey your intended emotions and messages clearly. Consider seeking feedback from a trusted friend or family member to gain additional perspective.


Delivering the eulogy


When delivering the eulogy, speak slowly and clearly. Maintain eye contact with the audience, and try to project your voice so that everyone can hear. It's natural to feel emotional during this time, so allow yourself to express your feelings while remaining composed.


Remember, when learning how to write a perfect eulogy, the goal of a eulogy is to celebrate and honour the life of the person who has passed away. By sharing your heartfelt memories, stories, and reflections, you can create a meaningful tribute that will be cherished by those in attendance.


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